Perception, in a way, births reality. There is a direct connection between what you experience in life with what you conceive. If you believe what you are thinking about yourself strongly, it would be a matter of time before others would queue behind to support and follow you.
I heard of a story of a young school boy who made everyone see him as a terror. He was named “The cock of the school” and was fat with a mean, ugly face. Funny enough, all through his school years, no one ever saw him have a single fight because he had taken his time to create a strong impression on the heart of others he could squeeze them dry with just one touch; he was unbeatable-so no student wanted to be the scapegoat.
Meanwhile, the truth was that he simply worked on their psychology- the poor boy would have taken time to reason that if he didn’t intimidate them early enough, they might team up to make life miserable for him following his looks and size-what a smart way to silent people. a I remember clearly when Hulk Hogan was in active wrestling. He would come to the ring, make a lot of noise and rip his T-shirt showing you he was ready to tear opponents to pieces the same way. To some, the fight had ended even before they started-their minds had bought into the perception he’d created of his strength.
However you want people to see you, start behaving that way now. You might be wondering why I’ve gone from point A to B but I want you to know that building self-confidence is a job only you can do for yourself. You might borrow a few materials from others-appreciation, love, care, good parenting/background, education, etc which go a long way to help but you still need to harness all of these to work in your favour.
Are we making excuses for people who didn’t have a good start in life? Not really, everyday is a good time to start making a difference and creating the ‘ideal you’.
Dealing/relating with someone who has severe confidence issues is a difficult encounter and thousands of relationship problems stem from low self esteem. When a wife feels every outing the husband does is unconnected with female folks and a husband suspects every bib in his wife’s phone —wanting to know who and why he called. They constantly think their spouses are on the lookout for a better catch. Is this really necessary?
There is no particular universal reason for low self esteem; it is a natural emotional state flowing basically from the knowledge you have of yourself-rejection, childhood experience, shortcomings, looks, weaknesses, flaws, inadequacies, limitations, etc. Interesting to note is the fact that other people may not even notice you have these challenges until you project them through your unconscious expressions or presentation.
Handling situations in certain ways or reacting to things generally give others a clue to who you really are. Trish had been enjoying her young marriage as a ‘trophy wife’- the type of a woman acquired as part of properties to increase a man’s worth. Some years ago, it was common for a woman to fantasize and wish for a life close to that of ‘Pretty Woman’- a favourite old film where a Richard Gere type hero solved your problems with a flash of his buoyant bank account. Trish missed out of this affluent experience growing up with her single mom who could only afford the very necessary things she needed to survive. Now that her beauty worked her straight to the arms of a financial investment consultant, she’d to play catch up with her peers who looked down on her misfortune. The result of course was a bulky lazy bear compared to a slim chick her husband captured when she came with others to compete for the best act in a TV commercial for his bank. She had totally forgotten about modelling which she explored to support her low income earner mom.
