Bad vibes from you could put a strain in your relationship and may hurt it in the long run, they are not hard to recognise and most couples are guilty of cruel body languages.
Resmaa Menakem of YourTango, lists 4 ways you could be hurting your partner with your body language.
1. You Use Silence as a Punishment: Your partner takes an action or makes a choice … and you disapprove. So you send your sweetie a small, micro-aggressive energetic smack that conveys your contempt, lack of respect, and ultimate dismissal of them … all without using a single nasty word or a negative tone. Your partner, who is deeply attuned to your energy, immediately picks up that vibratory message in their body — and feels your vibe intensely, like a punch in the gut (literally, they'll suddenly feel sick or nervous in their stomach). Yes, you said, "It's fine. No big deal." But your partner feels the disconnect between your vibe and your words … and it hurts. And, be honest, you meant it to. Of course, when your partner reacts strongly to this wound from you, you feign ignorance, pretend you did nothing, and accuse them of overreacting. Over time, most couples get better and better at this technique. You wound one another with the smallest movement, a slight change in posture, a look,or a minor change in their voice. That small, dismissive micro-aggressive gesture, or facial expression conveys the message: I only love you when you do what I want. If you displease me, I'll make you pay for it. It's the art of subtle cruelty; quiet violence that leaves no visible fingerprints. Your partner is left feeling attacked but can't logically explain why or what happened.
2. You Play the Victim: For those who like to maintain control without ever seeming controlling, the Victim Vibe is the technique of choice. You tell your partner you want something and they don't want to give it, whether that's going to an event you're eager to attend or making a purchase they find unnecessary. And so, you start in on them … arguing, badgering, sulking, wearing them down. Finally, they give in (usually begrudgingly or half- heartedly) and you get your way. But that's not enough for you — you want service with a smile! Instead of thanking them for acquiescing and then allowing them their honest feelings about how they came to do so, you retaliate by asking, "What's wrong?" or "What's going on?," and act like you're the victim of their bad energy. Frustrated, they say, "This is what you said you want. But now that you're getting it, you're still complaining? Still not happy? What the hell is wrong with you?"Congratulations, you got what you want by ignoring your partner's feelings, but now you get to make them the bad guy by acting like you're the victim.
3. You're An Emotional Bully: With this approach, you're not taking no for answer and instead of using silence, you're taking the opposite approach and upping the volume of your words. The goal is to pour a ton of energetic intensity on your partner and create a pressure cooker effect. Put the energetic squeeze on them until you get your way. Bully them. Nag them. Over-explain your point. Lecture. Talk too loud. Talk extra slow like they're a half-deaf idiot child. The message is clear — you won't back off or ease the pressure they feel until you get what you want. By overpowering, you hook all sorts of extra negative baggage onto what should otherwise be a simple message.
4. You Keep Your Partner in the Dark: You give your partner only part of what you know they want or need, especially in conversations. You offer just a taste of it, to hook them, and then you energetically withhold the rest to ensure that you retain control. It's a not-so-subtle power play made through your tone of voice, timing, and how much you do or do not engage with them.
In these instances, what often happens is that the other partner finally calls their lover out on this unfair behavior. They straighten their spine and speak their truth. This can blow the relationship apart—or it can blow it open and create an opportunity for growth and transformation. But positive change can't occur until both partners acknowledge and commit to changing the way they energetically wound one another without words. So, if you recognize yourself in this article, I challenge you to find the courage to change your own behavior before your partner calls you out on it (or walks away from you entirely).
